When all else fails.... VENT

So it has not gone unnoticed that I have not blogged in a while. Possibly due to the fact that I don’t like to blog about nothing. Also another problem I am finding is that I have a great urge to use my blog to vent, which is all good and well in an anonymous blog, but when my parents, my brother-in-law and the “others” I want to vent about are all regular readers, it is somewhat difficult to write the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

So in brief so that the overseas people can catch up on the last month…

• Yes I am still alive
• Yes I am still single
• No I am not ‘seeing’ anyone on a casual basis
• Yes I have had my heart broken in the last few months
• No this is not why I am abstaining from dating
• No this is not an invitation to set me up with your nice but single friend
• No I am not a lesbian
  

So now that we have that all cleared up, I wanted to share a little gripe I have with working in an Office full of women. Although let me be clear, I don’t want it to be believed that I am a self hating woman, I love being a woman! However, when working in a female dominated office you have to expect a number of irrevocable certainties:

1. You will be bitched to on a regular basis
2. You will be bitched about on a regular basis
3. You will need earplugs to eat your lunch as the lunchtime banter can get out of control
4. There is no such thing as a personal life: Work life and Personal life are not separate – it is all gossip!
5. Every sentence you hear the office will begin with “You’ll never guess… who said/ what happened/ who’s getting fired”
6. Daily there is the communal prayer for a decent looking man to work in the office.
7. You might find it difficult sitting back in your chair with that knife in your back

I regularly have to deal with backhanded compliments such as, “Oh isn’t it cute how your nose slants to one side!” or “You do have a beautiful complexion, but at least I don’t have bags under my eyes.” I know that I try to go with the ethos “Just say thank you”, and I do to their faces, but as I am using this time to vent… here I go:

Firstly, I am aware of my nose, I love my nose! At least it isn’t an oversized Jewish one like yours with hairs coming out of both nostrils. Yes I am blessed, with genes that mean that I have a good complexion and yes I am too blessed with wonderful friends and a decent social life which mean that from time to time I will come into work looking a little grey under the eyes… What is your excuse?? Oh and while we are on the subject of throwing around compliments: I think you have an interesting dress sense! I am sure one day (possibly on your death bed) you will see your feet again! The over the shoulder bolder holder you just bought yourself is... well I wouldn’t use the word sexy… er… practical! No I don’t value your opinion on the best places to go out in Tel Aviv, no I don’t want to go round to your house and meet your very interesting totally loser friends and finally yes I am pretty pleased with myself because I was fortunate not to be born a ginger minger!

Wow! Venting is good!!!

On a similar note, it was reported today that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has apparently fired the president of a phone company and has had four people arrested and accused of colluding with the Israeli foreign intelligence service, Mossad (it’s always gotta involve Israel!), the anti-government website Rooz Online reports. Why you may ask? Over an anonymous text message claiming that he does not wash enough! Ha ha ha… sounds like a piece of gossip from my office! Or maybe it was Jeru Guru... Gurok got anything else to confess?