Hot Head

I have been described as many things in my life, “hot-tempered”, “hot-blooded”, “hot under the collar”, “one hot mamma!”… I find that despite the fact that as a Yorkshire lass I come from one of the coldest parts of England, I had the heat inside me to keep me warm… perhaps this is why you will find the centre of Leeds filled with near naked women. The difference with me though is while everyone else seems to get their bits warmed by their inner heat, the only bit of me that seems to benefit from my own central heating is my head! Yes, yes I am also VERY hot headed!

Now living in England and being hot-headed was a good thing… the cold air would act as a counterbalance for the heat I was exuding from my temples, and ensure that my hair stayed as straight as could be. Ok, so no I may not get a manicure and a pedicure every week, I may not wear make-up every time I step out of the house, and my clothes may not be ironed perfectly, but my hair… well my father once said after I cut my hair into a crew-cut that “your hair is your crown and glory… treat it well.” Now I may have mentioned this before, but my father has a full head of pitch black hair (never been dyed) and is 60 years old, so when he gives me hair advice I listen! So it there is one thing I try to make an effort with it is my crown and glory, however, what with the heat from the sun beating down and the heat from inside me searing out, my crown and glory does not stand a chance.

Seriously, this heat is really getting to my hair! Unlike people with thick Israeli hair who can flatten down their frizz with a heavy dose of serum, my hair suffers the opposite problem, and I find that no sooner have I washed and blow dried my hair straight than my hair looks greasy again! Or if I make it straight it decides to curl itself without my consent. So at some point you may see Channahboo walking down the street, appearing as if she is shouting at herself, or at an imaginary gay man, when in reality she is shouting at her damn hair! “Damn it! Stay straight you bastard!!!”

At some point in every evening I give up, be it that Eli tells me that my natural curl suits me better than having it straight anyway, or be it that I just cannot stand thinking about it anymore… if I want to I am very good at blocking things out… I think it comes from my mothers amazing selective hearing. Which when I come to think about it is where I got my ‘natural curls’ from too! Just to paint a little picture for you… my natural curls basically look like bed head… that is if I had spent the night sleeping in a barn with a pig for company! Or as one Irish man once said to me “Jewish Curls”…

So I am getting all hot and bothered, firstly because it is July and damn hot, secondly because a call from a guy kinda caught me off guard, and thirdly because my hair is just not staying straight and the more stressed I am getting about it, the more hot I become and the more distressed my tresses look!

DV: Hun if you stopped trying so hard to make it perfect you might actually realize that it is NICE!
Me: I know you are right I should just go with the flow…
DV: What you on about! I was talking about your hair!
Me: Oh… and here was I thinking that you had made a really profound statement about how I approach men… ok… erm…Shit my hair won’t stay straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But she did have a point… a point that I am going to try and take with me in ever aspect of my life… the point that I learnt years ago from a wise friend (or could that be a stoned friend) at university, that there are things you just cannot control in your life (my hair being one of them), and perhaps if you stopped and actually enjoyed them for what they are you might see that although they are not perfect, not what you had been wishing for, they are in fact really nice…