Public Displays of Affection… it is a tough one. Some people, and this is not a single/ not single thing, have no problem with being part of a PDA or viewing a PDA. Others (and I am one) find their stomach churning when they see a couple smooching in public. As I said, this has nothing to do with being single (and bitter) or being in a couple (and happy… sorry just pointing out the irony!). It is a personal preference… like walking around your apartment naked… some of us would not do this even if we had the place to ourselves, but then not all of us were brought up in naked houses. Ok I have trailed off the subject somewhat, but my point was that some people do and some people don't, and I personally think it is kinda gross!
However, much to my dismay, I have to admit that there has been one occasion (other than a few teenage drunken snogs in clubs) that I have succumbed to the PDA…
It was with a guy who I will fondly refer to as the Sky Diver, or known to many as the freaky flyer. The Sky Diver was the best kind of Israeli guy; born in Israel, bred in the States (well not everyone is perfect) with many English friends, so phrases such as "she's a minger", "I'm going out for a fag", and "that's pukka" where not only phrases he understood, but used on a regular basis. All this plus his extreme sports personality made him very intriguing to me, despite the fact that looks wise he was not my type. Not that he was ugly! He was very attractive and as I said, being that he was into extreme sports, he had a certain style about him (very attractive!), but I don't usually go for blondes. Plus he was way too cool for me! I mean those of you who know me, and those of you who have seen me, will note that I may be the kinda girl to do a lot of things, but mostly ones with my feet firmly on the ground (no pervy jokes… they are too obvious). No jumping out of planes for me! Although after dating this guy I am having a rethink on that one…
Anyway, we decided that as it was a spontaneous first date, we didn't want to make a big deal. Also I had told him that I had a slight aversion to first dates, so when he asked me if I wanted to meet him and walk his dog; I thought "I like this guy's style!" We arranged to meet 10 minutes later and I suddenly realized that I was in the same clothes I had been wearing all day, and I had still not had a shower! With no time to shower, I decided that an extreme sports kinda guy would not be interested in 'Jewish Princess Channah' with a full face of make-up, straightened hair and stunning outfit on. No for a guy like SD I would have to be more real, relaxed, the Channah that chills with the boys, heads to the pub, doesn't need to wear a scrap of make-up and looks hot in the process! Look this is my fantasy ok…
After getting apparel approval from Nooman and the boys who were watching football at our apartment, I set out to meet SD. As we walked toward each other, I fell in love… get a grip people. I am not a head over heals in love kinda girl! I mean I fell in love with his dog! I cannot truly describe how this little mutt captured my heart, but from that moment I had fallen for a 12 inch, heavy breathing, and adorably ugly little dog called Bluto… oh and the owner was pretty cool too :)
Once I managed to regain my composure and actually pay some attention to my date and not his dog, we actually had a pretty good time. We chatted the length and breadth of my neighbourhood about his Sky Diving, my aliyah, our families. We laughed and joked, he was not afraid to tease me, something I like in guy… it shows confidence. I noticed that he was also someone who knew a lot of people. As we walked people would stop and say "hi" to him… he even knew the new hairdresser that had just moved in under my apartment that day! Apparently they were at school together. The more time I was spending with him, the more I grew to like him, and was feeling more and more drawn to him… dangerous ground!
The evening continued and as we were so close to my place and I needed the bathroom, we decided to head upstairs so I could relieve my bladder and we could chill for a bit. The boys were still watching football, and although SD had already declared that he was not into team sports (more a one on one, fight to the finish kinda guy) he was more than happy to make light conversation with Nooman, and fain some interest in the match. The whole time my attention was firmly on Bluto, while SD's hand was firmly on my thigh. It felt strange how normal it felt, that he was not some guy that I had known a number of hours, but was a guy I had been dating a while… deeper into dangerous ground!
Name and Shame
Bluto became inpatient, and as the boss we decided that it was time to start moving again… also SD had made arrangements to go to some Reggae party with some friends; asked me to join, but I thought it best to call an end to the night. So I walked with him towards his apartment. We stopped half way and sat talking on a bench. Talking would be putting it loosely, as there was very little conversation going on. I think this is a problem that both men and women share… the pre-first kiss verbal vomit! By which I mean that before that first kiss, you cannot concentrate on actually formulating a coherent sentence. This results in shear tripe coming out of your mouth until the other party realises and shuts you up by kissing you. I cringe now when I think of the things that I said in the 5 minute lead up to our kiss… I will not repeat it, but suffice it to say that it was seriously embarrassing!
So when we did kiss, it was with great relief! He was a great kisser… it was intense and yet felt so normal again… like I had somehow kissed him before. We were now stood up, kissing, in the middle of the boulevard; people walking their dogs and heading to the Dizengoff Centre, passing us on our left and right… a 100% public display of affection. We were not even being subtle about it… we were simply sucking face in the middle of Tel Aviv, and I was loving it! Was I a closet PDA (public displayer of affection)? Maybe I was, because when we finally parted lips I didn't notice the people around us, I did not care who had seen us, I just wanted to kiss him again… seriously dangerous ground!
We said goodbye and made arrangements to spend some part of the weekend together. I turned around to see him skipping up the boulevard and a big grin spread across my face. It was all going a so smoothly, so perfectly… this guy was not only too cool for me, but too good to be true. Not that I vocalised this… I mean while it is going well you should enjoy it, and not try and see the doom and gloom. But the doom and gloom must have been there for a reason, because despite the day after being filled with phone calls, emails and messages (from him), we never actually did spend the weekend chilling. As quickly as the SD had appeared into my life, he disappeared! To the extent that I sometimes wonder, was he, the dog and the PDA a figment of my imagination? But then Nooman likes to remind of him when meeting new dates… "He's not as cool as SD", a good thing as I often felt that SD was too cool for me anyway. But then again, he is into PDA's and skipping after kissing a girl for the first time… ha ha ha… on seconds thoughts maybe it was I who was a little too cool for him!
Anyway, the moral of the story is "Say 'NO' to PDA's. Public displays of affection always end in tears… if you have to prove to the rest of the world that you like each other by sucking face in public, then you were obviously not that into each other in the first place… that's what I like to tell myself anyway.