Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Drunken, Disorderly and other Disasters

Sometimes there is only one answer to a long hard week at work, getting drunk. What else are the weekends for if not to recover from a night of debauchery on a Thursday night (Israel's Friday night – or the Jewish Friday Night piss up)? Thursday morning I was sat at my desk wondering if I still had the will to live, never mind venture out on a night out, when my "Bad Influence" (see Night Swimming) logged into msn. We decided that a girls night out could be just what we needed to unwind after a stressful (I wish my work was exciting enough to be stressful!) week at work. The boys were not too happy about this plan and the usual insult of "Lezzers" kept flicking up on messenger, but we did not care!

Sometimes a girl just needs to get out, minus a man, minus shaving her legs, minus putting on lipstick, and minus the urge to "meet someone" and just go out with the sole purpose of getting drunk and dancing their asses off! So the boys could boo hoo all they liked, but this was our night to have fun… NO MEN (or batteries) INCLUDED.

So in case you are planning a big night out this Thursday night, here is my advice to you:

Do:
  • Doll yourself up (even though you are not going out to meet someone you never know who you might bump into)
  • Wear sexy-comfortable shoes (there is a way to have it all!)
  • Delete all 'dangerous' phone numbers (see point 4 in Don'ts)
  • Lose your inhibitions (alcohol helps)
  • Dance your Ass off!
  • Fall over – it is an inevitable when you mix alcohol and dancing your ass off!
  • Make sure you have a day of nothing planned for the following day

Don't:

  • Arrange to meet a friend for brunch in the morning – you'll regret it!
  • Wear stilettos – you'll regret it!
  • Mix your drinks – you'll regret it!
  • Snog anyone – ever heard of beer goggles? You'll regret it!
  • Drunk dial/ text message – you'll regret it!

And in case you wanted to know how my Thursday night went... well I managed to find me the best looking guy in Tel Aviv... he lives on Dizengoff!

2 comments:

Ginrod Isus said...

Listen Miss Hannah,
the label "bad influence" friend makes it out as i'm a sinner. I'd like to think of myself of an "inspiration therapist". Our wanton harlotry is designed to laugh about the little things in life. Kicking back.. exploring the difference between ice cold water and our warm noggins. And luckily for us, a little alcohol does preserve the health of our vital organs as we explore the divine inspiration life has chosen to present to us in the form of free drinks and the Mediterranean during cold season.

Sincerely yours and fellow wanton harlot,
Susi Doring MD

channahboo said...

And if any of you out there would like to benefit from the wisdom of the "Inspiration Therapist" herself, then please apply below. We will consider your application thoroughly before calling you up to invite you out for a night of Vodka, tequila and Night swimming!!!

The Wanton Harlots!