I have moved

I have moved/ upgraded to wordpress... I know it has been a while, but if you are still with me, you can carry on reading at http://littlemissgraham.wordpress.com/

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

You ever have those days when you just want to punch everyone in the face? I feel like that today…

Strange Bedfellows

I am already missing taking my laptop to bed with me... and yes I realise how sad that sounds.

Recap: New York

I have been home now a month and a half. It does not seem that long and yet New York feels like a decade ago, like a two week vacation long gone. I have to remind myself that this was no two week vacation. I lived New York. I loved New York. My leaving may have been an inevitable, but I never want her to forget how much I loved her.

A period of time in my life that I will treasure always and always write about to never let myself forget. Who could forget New York? It seems crazy right! But I am not talking about New York, the place; the tall tall buildings, the wide roads packed with tourists, the yellow cabs buzzing around the city. No I am talking about MY New York, what she did for me, how she made me feel. How from the moment we were reintroduced that September morning I knew I would never feel alone while I was with her. And that is true. Through all the ups and downs of my time there, through the great work nightmare to the man debate and all the little dramas in between New York was constant. Through a time in my life, and possibly the first time in my life when I just wanted to be left the fuck alone, New York lay her palm on my back, giving me my space to go forward but letting me know that she was always there if I needed her to fall back on. I guess at the same time Israel was doing the same thing.

So when the time came to make the decision to stay or go it was not easy. Should I stay in a job that brought me to tears every day, for the sake of New York? Should I carry on going further into debt because I did not want to let her go? And what about the benefits of going back to Israel? It had been a long cold winter in New York and I could definitely do with some thawing out. I wrote lists. I wrote journals. I talked it through with everyone. I was trying to find a way to stay, a reason to stay, a way to stay, but at some point I had to give her one last hug goodbye and jump back into the open arms of Israel.

I miss her. There is a part of me that wonders what is New York doing now? She's probably dressed up fabulous and running all over town ending the night a hot mess in a diner. I smile when I think about her, knowing that her hand will still be resting in the curve of my back if I ever need to fall back.

The problem with the world today...

The problem with the world today is Starbucks coffee. On every street corner, spreading like a disease around the world (apart from Israel, we had the good sense, for once, to give that shit back!) – Anyone who actually thinks that it is actually any good needs to come to the realisation that they have bad taste, poor judgement, have never drunk a decent cup of coffee in their lives or perhaps like the taste of weak, close to the taste of urine coffee… oh and those who like Dunkin Donuts are even worse!2

The problem with the world today is that we are all sheep. Where ever you go, herds of people all clustered together looking the same… and yet still referring to themselves as alternative. Alternative to what? Times Square it is the tourist and the police who are only there to pose or hold cameras for the tourists; Wall Street it’s the suits; Williamsburg it’s the Hipsters; in a small bar around the East village it’s the punk rockers/ Goths… I was the only alternative one in that bar my friend! Accept it we are all human… alternative to what? Vampires maybe…

The problem with the world today is “Harry Potterism”. I would like to begin this section by stating that I am a fan of the Harry Potter series. Yes I may have tried to avoid the craze, however once I bit the bullet I realised that it was not half bad. That being said, it has since brought a craze of Harry Potter copies. “Well J. K. Rowling managed to make millions out of wizards… how about Vampires?” No no no!!! Please stop! The problem with the world today is our ongoing and tiresome urge to drag out a good thing. One sushi bar makes a killing the first week it opens so as a result 30 sushi bars open on the same block. Soon all we are eating 24/7 is sushi… Get my point? No I don’t think you do. My point is Twilight is literary garbage! We have Vampire Diaries, True Blood3 and the Twilight movie series. I sure hope that vampires do not exist because I am telling you if I was one I would be pissed!4

The problem with the world today is we are all so hell bent on making it a better place that we ultimately forget the truth that, people steal, people cheat, and given the chance most people would help themselves to the wad of cash in your wallet and not give it a second thought. We are a species evolved by self preservation, self growth anything to move ourselves forward. The sooner we accept that fact the better off we will be and the less shocked we will be when finding out that someone has stolen our credit card details and racked up £1800 worth of debt for you5. If we accept this truth then finding our coat/ cashmere cardigan stolen at the end of the night would come as no surprise and we could perhaps save ourselves a great deal of heartbreak in the long run.

The problem with the world today is that we, and by we I am referring to my own kind… women, we try to be Superwoman. Ladies, we are not Superwoman, we should stop trying to be a fictional hero… no Wonder Woman is not real either so stop. No I mean it, stop it! There is nothing wrong with not being able to fit everything into your already jammed full life. Getting married and having babies does not mean that you life should be getting up at 5.30am for a yoga session before fixing the kids breakfast; taking them to school; heading into the office for a little nine to six ass kicking because you are of course the office rock star; using your lunch break to go to the organic market so you can make your family the most wholesome and natural dinner possible, getting home from a long day to sit with your children and help them with homework/ teach them a second language; head back to the gym as soon as the children have gone to bed; take a detour via the beautician to get waxed and plucked so that your can put on your sexy lingerie when you get home and give you husband the best time of his life… again! Yes it sounds like the life dreams are made of but seriously it does not have to be this way… and if you cannot do it all then please stop beating yourself up about it! Moreover if you by chance one of these ‘Super’ women who can do all of this (without being addicted to a performance enhancing drug) then please stop gloating about your achievements in public and making other ‘mere mortals’ feel inadequate.

The problem with the world today is that the Beta males have become the new Alpha males. No I have not moved on to men bashing. I am woman bashing right now. We are after all our own worst enemies… I mean men cannot help themselves they are only doing what comes naturally, but we… we stupidly think that we can change them. Women! There is no changing a man. Word up! Anyway back to my point being that prior to deciding that the Beta males were to become the new Alpha male we did not consider that these Beta males were the boys who grew up geek. The shy guy who had no balls to go chase after the girl of his dreams… Guess what ladies, they still don’t! Don’t we want our men to fight for us? Don’t we deserve that? Fight for it you bastards!

Ok morning rant is over. Thank you!

1. This post was inspired by friends on Twitter and Facebook who bitch and moan about this stuff almost as much as I do… I said ‘almost’

2. Sorry Ahuvah!

3. I kind of secretly like this one

4. Oh lord I have started writing with an American accent

5. Well in this particular case me.

Same Channahboo... A New Adventure

London, Tel Aviv, London, New York… And so now my adventure takes a new twist and I am finding myself sipping Mocca Latte in terminal 5, staring out at the British Airways planes lined in a row and smiling at the irony of the situation that an English Girl who had just 5 years before moved to Israel, has now found herself back in London in transit to New York for the next leg of her adventure.

How many legs does this adventure have? I do not know and I have stopped asking now. The point is that it keeps on running.

I think it is fair to say that the last year saw my life as I knew it flip upside down and while I could have carried on being the same, living the same life as before I took a long hard look at what was my adventure so far, and thanks to this blog I had record proof of my adventure so far, and so far my adventure was rather unadventurous… and downright repetitive. I jumped from year to year and found that the same stories were repeated year in year out and ultimately I needed a change. Ultimately I need a change.

This is not to say I am done with Israel. I have mixed feelings about this statement. I have mixed feelings when people say, “Oh no! You can’t leave Israel! How sad!” I guess I would have said the same thing if the person was not me. So I say it again. I am not done with Israel. But after 5 years living in this bash my head against the wall one day and jump up and down with gratitude the next day country, I feel I am entitled to a break, or as we would say in Israelהפםקת נפש or a break for the soul. And for those of you have stuck with the sad and woeful blog over the last few months you will agree that the soul of this blog needs a break indeed.

Now we can enter into a whole debate about whether I have allowed myself to be defeated by Israel and the harsh way she treats her new immigrants by separating the fair-weather friends from the dedicated settlers. We can have a discussion for hours and split hairs over whether I made the move to Israel for the right reasons or am leaving for better ones. We can talk for hours about the ins and outs and whys and who is to blame, but seriously who gives a shit and who really takes life that seriously. Basically it breaks down to the following; I need a change, my job offered me the chance to move to New York, I decided it was an opportunity I could not say no to, So for the next six months I am giving New York all that I got and will see if she is a keeper or not.

As I said, I am not done with Israel. I will never be done with Israel. My family and my dearest friends are in Israel and if that is not reason enough I will stand proudly in the middle of Heathrow airport and shout rather un-politically correctly that Israel is my homeland and I will never be done with her! However, that does not mean I have to be stuck to her for the rest of my life; the equivalent of living at home with the parents forever (so says a 30 year old who until this morning was living at home with her parents). No it is time this Israelite flew the nest and spread her wings in another land. I will still have sweet dreams of a land flowing with milk and honey, but for now I will be dancing in streets paved with gold (or cheese depending on how you look at it).

So here I am in Heathrow again only this time I am heading West and high off my ass on a concoction of cold and flu remedies that ultimately will make no difference at all to the state of my mucus filled head, only to give an illusion to the swine flu scared passengers around me that I at least making an effort to get better. I am seriously looking forward to knocking back a few whiskeys on the plane and passing out…. Just wonder if I am sick enough to beg an upgrade to class with the beds, or if I am too sick that they may refuse me entry into the USA until I have completed quarantine. Cats and dogs must have 6 months quarantine before being allowed into a country… imagine if they imposed the same with humans. I could spend the 6 months I am supposed to be in New York in quarantine instead…

Ok I am going to take America English chocolates so they let me in!

By the way, England is still grey, Terminal 5 is not all that (the Prêt a Manger has only 5 sandwich choices) and I would like someone to explain the logic to me of why security in this country makes people throw away their water bottles when they are clearly swigging from it so it cannot be anything other than water… oh and yet at the same time recommending their passengers to keep themselves hydrated on the flight. One thing the world could learn from Israeli security… yes we do not have to take off our shoes to ensure that there are no terrorists on our flights!

New York baby here I come!

140

Must write blogs for all that has been going on, but what has been going on is a lot and I am too used to writing in 140 characters Twitter!